The Tender Gentleman calls out that he’s been had again. We know this is true. We’ve all witnessed his eager participation in back alley dice games before, his long face from empty pockets that once held a weeks worth of pay. It’s sad really. What can we do? We’re just a rock-n-roll band.
K and Ms. Means have counseled him the best way they know how with a set of “before” and “after” pictures they carry around with them in their “healing bag”, depicting men in similar circumstances, lost in the throes of their vice, with dark circles under their eyes and mismatched shoes.
These torrid depictions of a lifestyle most foul are only brightened by the images of their future selves who’ve cast off the demons and are saved from despair, all happily standing in DMV lines of various lengths with wide grins that evidence their new contentment with the world.
But no one can talk The Tender Gentleman out of sinning so hard. He just as pleased to bide his time til pay day rolls around again to make his “travel” versions British pub classic’s such as snakes bites from beer and fruit juice boxes and ploughman’s from found fruit pull-ups and orange cheese doodles.
We can only hope now that by telling you all of our personal band inner working’s, it will encourage many of you not to follow in our dark folly. We love you after all.